Healthy Piña Colada Granola

♫ If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, and have this song stuck in your brain… ♫

Ease the pain of the ultimate ear worm with this awesome granola mix.

Yesterday, during my weekly aisle wander at the grocery store, I noticed how adventuresome the yogurt section had become. It’s like the Greek yogurt movement stimulated some kind of flavoured yogurt revolution: coconut, white chocolate, cappuccino, key lime pie, piña colada…

“Oh. Shit.” I muttered to myself, standing under those vicious fluorescent lights, blank stare directed at a wall of yogurt containers. My hell was about to begin. As soon as I read the words “pina” and “colada” I was doomed to spend the rest of the day looping that song in my head. As I saw it, I had two options: 1) Jam a screwdriver into my brain. 2) Do something productive with this mental soundtrack and make something with it.

I most definitely, most certainly, most deliciously made the right choice.

Why this granola is both great tasting and good for you:

Rolled oats: loaded with insoluble fiber which keeps you feeling full for longer stretches of time
Slivered almonds: In addition to healthy fats and vitamin E, a quarter-cup of almonds contains magnesium plus potassium
Hemp hearts: loaded with protein, fiber and essential amino acids
Pumpkin seeds:a wide variety of nutrients ranging from magnesium and manganese to copper, protein and zinc
Shredded coconut: (aside from awesome flavour) offers protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals

♫ Put ’em together and what have you got… bippity-boppity-boo ♫
Apologies. Just really trying to break the song in my head, even if it means planting another one in there.

There’s a big misconception that the Escape (The Pina Colada song) is performed by Jimmy Buffet but it was actually written and recorded by a fella named Rupert Holmes. Jimmy Buffet is responsible for Margaritaville — an equally annoying, yet not as vicious ear worm.

Sorry, folks, I hate to suffer alone.

Let’s take a minute to go beyond the chorus of this song. A man is bored in his relationship so he starts reading the personal section of the newspaper:

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long
Like a worn out recording of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin’ I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns, there was this letter I read

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape
Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape

So he takes an ad out in the same classified section, responding and inviting the lady to meet him at the pub. She does and it turns out to be his own (neglected) lady!

So I waited with high hopes and she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady and she said, “Aw, it’s you.”
Then we laughed for a moment and I said, “I never knew.”

And then they have a laugh and go on a vacation together. WTF?!!

Safe to say, this kind of behavior wouldn’t fly in my relationship. 

As bonus WTF’ery, the cover art for Rupert Holmes’ single Escape (The Piña Colada Song) features a woman’s torso with hands shackled in handcuffs. What was happening in this dude’s relationship??! Oh, those 70s, where adultery is rampant and the songs painstakingly inspire delicious bowls of granola.

Enjoy! xo

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